Is That Yo Chick?

Florida Evans said it best. "Damn, damn, daaaaamn!" I have to do it. I'm calling out all the green-eyed monsters that lurk in doorways, at restaurant tables and gender divided club lines. Recently, I went to a function and bore witness to (in my humble opinion) the ugliest of the seven deadly sins. Why do chicks feel that they have one-up each other as soon as a dude is in the vicinity? I don't get it. There are so many subtle moves that would appear harmless to the untrained eye...mostly the male eye. But if you know them like you know your own face- it's easy to spot. A too long glance. An extra loud laugh. A sudden need to draw attention to a body part by absently running their own hand over it. It's really quite funny. It's almost as though the guy is not as attractive until it seems that he may have a girl with him. Then it's on to Operation: Make Him Look.

The success of this mission depends greatly on how oblivious or observant the target is. He may just overlook how much the hyenas are stalking their prey- or he might feed into it. I'm going out on a limb here to say that This Bug has no trouble in the looks department. ( Yeah, I said it.) So if the gentleman at my side can have his head on swivel for any ole flirt-in-a-skirt, chances are he's not at my side. That being said, it doesn't mean that the average male cannot fall victim to the trickery of feminine wiles. But This Bug does not fux with the average male. He usually has a keen eye for these sort of traps.

At the end of the day- confidence is golden. The women who attempt to set these snares are rife with insecurities. They seek attention. Need the validation. It fills a void. It's sort of sad. I can remember being out with male platonic friends and watching some females calculate what I was to the man in question. The minute they deduced that we were just friends- it took the wind out of their sails and they gave up their game. I guess they figured, 'Where's the fun in that?' . But I've seen it swing the other way at times. My illustrious stint in bartending made me privy to all sorts of crafty behavior. I'm talking trifling shit, People. As soon as Wifey walked off to the ladies room, dude sprung into action. Took the number, palmed the ass and never looked that way again once the main girl reentered the room. There would be no traces of that exchange for the rest of the night...but you knew what was undoubtedly coming later on down the line. Ladies, if this sounds familiar to you, remember what Fat Joe said. Jealous Ones Envy. It's not cute- and you're playing yourself. And Fellas, you're not special. Don't get caught up. She's just lining up the next one if you don't take the bait. But like Kellz & Jay said...

That's the Power of P.U. I see you.