This Bug has something to confess. I'm a severely harsh judge of those who have a so-so command of the English language. It's true. If I hear a word used grossly out of context or see a misspelled word; I'm on it like white on rice. I don't know why. I am a card carrying member of the Grammar Police. And I pack a mental red pen everywhere I go. That being said- I want to elaborate on how much botched speech or writing irritates me; and this has never been more prevalent than in the good ole text message.Awhile back- I received a text message that went something like this: Oboma is hott in dah debates rite now. Lemme hit you bak later.
This may sound neurotic. I may even be nitpicking just a tad, but seriously...WTF?! Let's start with the misspelling of Obama's name for one. That's just wrong. The man himself is history in the making and you can't even spell his name correctly? I personally know third graders that would not have f*cked that up.
Next was the useless addition of the extra 't' in the word hot. Word, Son? Is that supposed to tell me how much 'Oboma' is on fiyah while he outshines McCain? Gett out!
Here's my real problem. If you are going to take the time to type 3 characters any damn way- just type 'the' instead of 'dah'. Even 'da' would have been mildly excusable but this shit just really put me over the top. Never mind the last line. Needless to say I was totally unavailable when this mangler of diction finally got 'bak' to me and have been ever since.
It's crazy, I know- but I really can't stand it when people talk stupid, type stupid or look stupid. As I've said before- what comes out of our mouths (or fingertips in this case) is just a distortion of the pure thought we had to begin with. So if that stupid thought has executed itself onto my LCD screen, I'm rolling my eyes and containing the urge to text back: You are a moron.
Anyway, as an officer of the Grammar Police I have to say that is has not been easy for the men who approach me. I am merciless when it comes to how much of the gray matter they employ during speech and rhetoric. A well read and well spoken dude has the odds slanted in his favor. Point blank- there will be no peeks at the peaks if you cannot differentiate which is which in a sentence. I don't want to make it sound as if I write Pulitzer Prize winning text messages. I still utilize a lot of brevity when it comes to texting. But nothing I send is unintelligible- and I expect the same in return. Best case scenario: I will call you out on it. Worst case: I will auto-delete your dumb ass. Period.
3 comments:
dam yo: gud t'ing eye aint gotta wurry bout dat ish. I meen; iff dey cyant spell an talk den wah da use, gal? 1 luv women allday...oops, i meen 'all day'. l8r.
LOLOL!!;)
This takes me back to one of our priceless knockout moments.
It was a time when Maureen had a customer on the phone who was pleased with the services rendered that day. She called Henry's line and she said "Henry I have a customer on the phone who wants to commandeer a technician.
My jaw hit the desk. I couldn't contain myself (not that I ever try). I shouted "What did you say?" She was so startled that she couldn't muster an answer. I was unrelenting. What did you say? What did you say? I repeated.
As you well know, I am also on the force and I was ready to throw the book at her. Preferably websters.
Oh Dear! That day will live in infamy! She was so stuck. I've never seen anything like it before, nor anything like it since.
I knew YOU would feel me on this one, Lt. Diction...busting word-botchers one verb at a time.
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