I have to do it. I'm going in on all the cornballs of the world. There is something to be said for these lames and here it is: You will not prosper. Everyone knows just the type of person I speak of- and if you don't, there's a good chance that you are the cornball of thee I sing.
Let's start off simple. Take Elvin Tibideaux of The Cosby Show.
This dude is the antithesis of Cool. Everything he said amounted to a bunch of nothing. There was nothing appealing about his speech, dress or demeanor. Just a Tight Ass for no good reason. The funny thing is- this is their true nature. It's not an act. They know no other way to be, even if they tried. Generally, they are pretty easy to spot but just in case you may unwittingly have one in your midst, let me give you a few pointers. The red flags should be flapping away if you witness any of the following behavior.
1. The quintessential footwear for Cornballs are Timberlands tied entirely too tight. It looks as if they should be scaling a telephone pole in a cherry picker to disconnect your Cable but in actuality, this is just their everyday look.
2. Appending to the unwritten rules of Cornball attire is anything lacking any sense of personal style. I can't say there's an exact uniform but it always looks haphazardly put together and just...lame.
3. They don't know when to give up. These individuals can't leave well enough alone. They talk too much about sh*t no one cares about and do so with reckless abandon.
4. Cornballs are constantly trying to prove how corny they are not. Why? They're not fooling anyone.
I try not to give these lames too much shine, since I have better things to do- but sometimes, you gotta call it like you see it. I know cornballs need love too, they just won't get it from This Bug.
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