And..how did you find me, again?

So it's going on three years since I started This Bug's Life. No drum roll. No bells and whistles. I already got the 100th post out of my system. It's been a pretty good run and I can only hope to continue it. That being said- I'm still figuring out this whole 'Blogger' format. Recently, I discovered a neat little tab on the dashboard of my blog once I signed in. "STATS". It was there that a whole new world opened up to me. Of course it shows you how many page views you've gotten in a day, week, month, etc. and referring websites but that's not what caught my interest. There's list of the top key words that people Googled in order to reach my site. Much to my surprise (and some less so) I learned what led random traffic directly to This Bug's Life. Here goes:



assup - Call me slow, but it took me a second to realize that more than one person hastily typed in 'Ass Up' as in Uncle Luke's infamous chant, "Face Down, Ass Up. That's the way we like to F**k" and somehow wound up on my blog. Wowzas.




massaging a martini - I wish I knew what the hell this is supposed to mean. I really don't remember posting anything that involved massages and martinis simultaneously- but I'm officially inspired.



bug's life racist - As if! Actually, I know exactly what this is about. I got my hooks in Disney a while back and didn't let go. It's in the archives. Check it out. I pissed a few people off simply by shattering their flowery childhood memories of a few beloved cartoon classics. If pointing out the obvious facts makes This Bug a racist...let's discuss it. Seriously.



bitchwearingnodraws - Ha! I saw this one and thought, 'Classy huh?'. Then I saw how many folks have come across the Panty Free Friday I was thinking about petitioning for as a national holiday. Once you go Commando for a day- you'll understand why a 'bitch wearing no draws' is highly unoffensive when sought after in proper taste. Let's do this!




taxi cop- It's not a myth, People. They exist. It's sneaky. It's entrapment. And it's perfectly legal. Think about that the next time you decide to text with that yellow cab next to you at the red light.


Anyway, it matters very little what led you here. You got here. And made This Bug very happy in the process. Make it a Favorite. Bookmark it. Come back for more. You might be surprised at what you stumble upon. I know I was- and I write the damn thing.

Ciao!

Go Ask Alice

I've always loved Disney's Alice in Wonderland. The story was whimsical. The animation was fetching. But more importantly, I identified with the main character...to a fault. You see, Alice's misadventures begin when she gets bored during a history lesson and her mind wanders. It wanders so far that she finds herself down the rabbit hole and in a world she never expected.

She encounters the craziest characters and questions everything from logic to her own sanity. I've been there. The Mad Hatters. The spiked Tea Parties. The need to make it back to a place where things make sense again.

What recently intrigued me about this story was that Alice could leave Wonderland whenever she was ready. All of her topsy turvy encounters took place because she willed it to be so. It's not until she's being chased (mainly by her own demons, so to speak) that she wakes herself from this colorful and dizzying dream.

The elusive Caterpillar, the sly Cheshire Cat, the tyrannical Queen, the pressed-for-time White Rabbit; none of them meant her any harm. They were all just absorbed in a world where they belonged and she had no place in. Twenty some odd years later. Finally...I get it.

It's A Thrall World After All

Welcome to the Tragic Kingdom. We've got a charming mouse, delightful fairy princesses and...Oh yeah, a sprinkling of jigaboo yes-men and tireless Mammy types. It's no secret that Disney loves to keep its finger on the pulse of all things enchanting. What you may not know is that they also love to sneak a lot of disenchanting things into their animation. It may be just for kicks. Or it may be to stealthily plant seeds of racism and sexism in the fertile minds of children. How can you not adore the lovely coquettes Disney has been creating since the beginning of time?

But for the gaggles of sweet characters they have steadily cranked out over the years, there are a few to fall out of love with faster than you can say Zippidee Do Dah . I first discovered an undesirable while watching The Little Mermaid several years ago. Boy, dat blackfish sho' could sing, yes indeedy.

Granted, my head was in a billowing cloud of Hashish when I caught it- but that's probably the very reason I even spotted this offensive little sucker in the first damn place. Besides, I'm not here to discuss why I was watching cartoons while in an altered state... More on that some other time.

Let's start with Sunflower; a black centaur who served the white centaurs in Fantasia.


Wow. A cute little pickininny creature who dutifully shines the hooves of the pretty, lily-white centaurs. When Disney released the 50th Anniversary Edition DVD, Sunflower was mysteriously missing. In fact the editing was so choppy from her complete removal, that the audio is terribly out of sync during the segment set to Beethoven's "Pastoral Symphony". Below is a snippet from the original release.

According to Disney, she never existed. Neither did doting shoe-shine gals and guys. What delusional planet do YOU live on? Your eyes must deceive you! Why, the good-natured folks at Disney have built their legacy on dazzling animation and heartwarming family values. Right. And the Tooth Fairy just dropped off the residual payment for my wisdom teeth last night...

But let's not paint Disney as an Evil Empire just yet. They do it for the kids. It's hard work bringing smiles to the faces of children. They also understand that you would be bored silly if not for a splash of adult humor. Check out Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear diagnosing Woody's "laser envy" when the latter is none too happy with Little Bo Peep's fawning and mocks Lightyear's gadgets. Hardly a joke a 5 year old would get. What's the harm in that? It goes over most heads anyway, right? Wrong. Consult the young boy who pointed out to his mother that when Simba plops down on a cliff in The Lion King, the letters S-E-X materialize out of the dust cloud. The jury is still out on that one, but if you understand how intricate the animation process truly is; you can deduce that vague images are hardly coincidental.

Disney has been approached on numerous occasions for their overt racism. Somehow, they always come out smelling sweeter than a timeless rose encased in glass. Insert shameless Beauty and the Beast plug here. But they are actually making strides. Enter Tiana:

Soon-to-be-released The Princess and The Frog: An American Fairy Tale introduces Disney's first Afro-American darling.

When Disney announced it was casting its first black princess for its latest animation film, the African-American heroine was hailed as a positive role model for little girls and an ambitious marketing ploy, not to mention an attempt to ward off the allegations of racism that have lurked since the heyday of Walt Disney Productions in the 1940s and 1950s. Disney commented: "The story takes place in the charming elegance and grandeur of New Orleans' fabled French Quarter during the Jazz Age... Princess Tiana will be a heroine in the great tradition of Disney's rich animated fairy tale legacy, and all other characters and aspects of the story will be treated with the greatest respect and sensitivity."



Magical. Respect and sensitivity. Complete with narration by a toothless firefly with an unmistakably lazy 'good ole Negro' drawl. What's not to love? Man, that Tinkerbell pixie dust really does work wonders.

Aww, Disney...You've come a long way, Baby!