Don't Try This At Home.

This Bug wants to settle something once and for all. Pardon the tone but I like to jump right in. Lately a lot of folks have been noticing that I've lost some weight. And that's true. About 20 lbs. to be...approximate. But this did not- read: DID NOT happen overnight. It happened over a period of a year and half to be exact. There was a time when I used to exercise regularly and walk/jog a measly mile about four days a week. That doesn't happen anymore. When I run into people who haven't seen me in a while the remarks run the gamut from admiration, worry to outright side-eye hate. "Wow. You don't look any different from High School." or "I'm just used to seeing you with more meat on your bones. " to "Wow, you're so slim. Are you eating? Everything okay?" The last one is always delivered with a discernible tinge of sarcasm. But I guess going from 130ish to 112ish would raise a few eyebrows, so...

Let's get this straight. Yes, my frame has returned to the lithe figure I had senior year. Without dating myself to a tee- I'll say it's been at least um... not-so-roughly 10 years since then. Yeah, sounds good. But what many don't know (unless they read my tales of woe) is that a problem tooth last year is responsible for much of my weight loss. I was unable to eat solid food for just under 2 weeks. It was all about soup and milkshakes as if someone had cracked my jaw. (Kanyeezy I felt your pain, Homie.) And by the time I was back on normal food- it took a lot less to fill me up. I guess my stomach shrank? That happens, right? I still go in on the desserts with no shame, by the way. Pair that with very sporadic consumption of meat and the fact that I barely eat breakfast unless I'm starving and there you have it. Nothing too complicated.

Nowadays I eat regularly. I do calisthenics and a few moves to keep everything toned about three times a week. Booty injections are a cop out. It's all about squats for This Bug. I wear what the hell I want. Leggings. Clingy shirts. Trife shorts. I don't give a what. I flaunt that shit. And I am not too modest to say I blend right in with these young chicks and can give some of them a run for their money. I always had a bit of an hourglass once I (finally) filled out, so there's not a huge difference between then and now. The one thing I'm astounded/annoyed by is how much people can't hide their distaste for how I look now. I'm not too skinny. I'm healthy. Stop hatin'. It was a freakin' wisdom tooth from Hell that started all this, okay? I wouldn't wish that suffering on anyone. They should spend more time committing to diet and exercise than wondering if I'm a borderline crackhead or just have good genes. Speaking of which- between the ample boobies, narrow waist, meaty thighs, knobby knees and skinny calves that look like they belong on a Perdue roaster...I have officially become my mother.

Momz Circa '75

Bugz Circa '09