Warning: The following post contains my completely random thoughts on Strip Clubs. That's right, kiddies. Time to leave the room. You too, Jesus Freaks. Corruptible Adults only. Go on now...Shoo! Okay.
The other day I was talking to a friend of mine about strip clubs. I wish I could tell you what the segway was to that topic, but I really can't recall. All I can remember is the phone being dropped while he collected himself after I stated that nothing is impressive or sexy about a male stripper being able to make his booty clap the way a lady can. Actually, I find it downright disgusting. A waxed rear end oiled up and harnessed into assless chaps is well...nasty.
While we're sharing, I'm going to go as far as stating that I am comfortable enough with myself and own sexuality to be in such a place without feeling insecure or embarrassed. As a matter of fact, I would recommend that anyone of a mature age should go at least once, just to be a fly on the wall. When I say mature, I don't mean freshly 21 and Fratboy obnoxious, by the way. There's an unspoken etiquette when it comes to places like this. For those who are clueless as to how to conduct themselves- the burly bouncers are much obliged to teach you some manners after they open the back door with your head. Plus, they let the female patrons get away with alot more for some reason. Let a guy try to lay the smackdown on the merchandise and watch what happens.
Anyway, let me say this. I don't knock anyone's hustle. To judge them would mean that you have walked a mile in their 5 inch clear heels. Try those on for size and then talk smack. On some strange scale, I actually admire the talent and resourcefulness it takes to do that job. Their pole working skills could easily be a smash at Cirque du Soleil . And then there are the formidable customer service skills they hone while dealing with drunk, horny and disrespectful patrons who wear sweats or windbreaker pants to get their money's worth. Well...from my fly-on-the-wall observations, anyway.
Well those are my thoughts. And I couldn't leave without giving you a track listing of classic stripper songs for those of you at home who wish to free your 'inner freak'. So Ladies (or Gentlemen,) grab the gold lamé thong or whatever floats your boat or finds your lost remote and proceed to press play.
Madonna - Justify My Love- Who better to start off the list than the naughty Material Girl? She wants to run naked in a rainstorm...cross country. That beat will surely get the goodies moving.
Blackstreet- Fix- Sounds like an unlikely candidate until you give it a listen. Make sure it's the remix with Slash, Fishbone and ODB. Yes, I said ODB. Freaky Rock 'n Roll goodness.
Prince - Gett Off- C'mon. Does this one really need explanation? Actually, any song that's not a ballad from the Formally Purple Artist will do. His music oozes sensuality.
Scarred- Uncle Luke and Trick Daddy- I know Luther Campbell didn't invent booty bouncing, but he sure did help the movement along. Apparently "Luke Dancers" were once legendary.
Nasty Girl- Vanity 6- Another self explanatory tune. "That's right. Pleased to meet you. I still don't wanna tell you my name." This was a good 20 years before that train wreck Mouseketeer did a shameless rip-off with Slave 4 U. Anyhow, it's probably their mantra and therefore the list would not be complete without it.
That's my two pennies on this topic- because This Bug surely does NOT make it rain.
2 comments:
...don't you believe in mystery, don't wanna play my game?
When we gonna make that trip?
In undergrad my gf and I used to escape to the strip club b/c the men there were too focused on stage to bother us. And it was free. I like strip clubs, strangely enough.
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