I don't know what it is, but this really makes me livid. Who the hell do they think they are. Why is it OK to inconvenience the rest of the world just because they don't want a scratch on their car? Whatever the reason may be- This Bug finds a way for the Universe to right itself when these "higher-than-thou parkers" strike. I have been known to administer my own little brand of parking lot justice once I eventually find a spot of my own. I make a mental note as to where this Spot Hog is, keys in hand...and do my bidding as I casually walk by. To the naked eye, I am simply happening by- innocently making my way into the store. A closer look reveals my handiwork. I know this sounds morally reprehensible. Guess what? I don't care. There's a little part of me that gets all warm and fuzzy inside knowing that the owner will come out to the very result he was trying to avoid when he parked like such a F*ckface.
I hardly miss an opportunity to execute this little gesture. It just so happens to be one of the things that makes me who I am. It may not be right...but it's real. Please refer all questions, outrages and laments to the footnote of this blog: "Because an imperfect existence is preferable to an inauthentic one." Sidebar: I once overlooked this pigheaded move when a Maserati was parked parallel across two spots at the Mall. But it was a Maserati, Man. Even I could understand that one. The driver of that sweet little ride can thank G Rap for me not keying the shit out of his car. I'm serious.
And if any of those assholes happen to be reading this, gritting your teeth and hoping you catch me in the act...do yourself a favor and just take one spot.
Don't let this be you.
4 comments:
Damn, are you this wild with other pet peeve violators? When someone talks too close to you do you mush the shit outta them & give them one nice kick for good measure? lol.
Do you slash the tires on the strollers of baby giants & punch the parent's in the chest one time just b/c? lmfao.
I'm just saying, if one pet peeve violator gets the "business" then shouldn't they all feel it too in some shape or form?
Yes, I know ya can see where I'm coming from now!!.....Smack the mud flaps off the next woman that gets mad b/c no one will let her sit down on the train & tell her,"Suck it up, Bitch!"
Oh, you gotta a stalker caller? Shiiiiit, we know just how to handle that. Get one of those mini horn tings they blow @ sports games & over hot caribbean tunes. Yeah, those things. Then call the stalker caller back and say, "Hello, it's me-Jane. Now 'ear dis....HHHHHOOOOOOONNNNKKKKK!!" Put the phone back to ya ear & enjoy the sounds of a full grown adult crying. Ahhhhh, the serenity.
Ya feel me, Ms. Neverow? So go out there & teach these assholes a lesson for the both of us.
And don't you worry about a thing. When they put the Hannibal Lechter suit on you & wheel you into court..just look over ya shoulder soldier & I'll be there......ready to smack the shit outta the next married bitch with a 6 year old in a carriage talkin all up in my face 'bout how she's a virgin that hates indians that tries to get my number!
I got you My G!!! Now go get it poppin'! LMAO! Peace.
Soups...where have you been all my life?
Waiting for you,luv. Now "let's get together & make this whole world believe us!"
Blog ya heart away, babes. I got your back all day!
Now, what's next?
Quoting hov soups? Jayne, he's for real.
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