January 31, 2009

And if ya don't know- now ya know

The following was written under duress. Well, that's not entirely true. I've been low on energy, mojo and blog topics lately. There. I said it. And then my bee-yoo-ti-ful Cuz sends this my way. I've been tagged and so, here we are. A special thanks to Kari for greasing the wheels. Let's do this.

20 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals this year:


1. It's not impossible to feel like a Queen without having a King at your side, but it surely makes a difference when you do. Everywhere begins to look like your kingdom.




2. I have always been insecure about my smile. Always.




3. Tending bar taught me more about the human condition in 3 short years than I could have hoped to learn in a lifetime.



4. (Spoiler Alert) I am moved to tears every time I watch the last 5 minutes of the movie Hair.




5. The very first time I got stumbling, shitfaced drunk was on Manischewitz wine. I was 11 years old. Shhhh...


6. It is my personal mission to meet Cee Lo Green and beg him to cover War's The World Is A Ghetto. If you know the song...and his voice- then you know this is right for the Universe.



7. My first kiss was with a boy in school who is now an openly gay man. A ridiculously irrational part of me still wonders if I was responsible for this in some way.

8. I've decided in 2009 that I don't want to get paid to do anything but write. Yeah.



9. The sign should simply read "Hot Crack Now". Krispy Kreme is the devil...and I need Jesus.



10. When my hair is straight I feel very astute- as though I look like I take myself too seriously. When it's wild or curly- I feel free-spirited, sexy and breezy.



11. Going to Jamaica and not sampling the "chief" export would have been like going to Paris and not trying the Champagne. Why would I do such a thing?





12. The quickest way to turn me off is to talk about money in attempts to impress me.


13. FYI: Nas and I share a beauty mark in the same place. Yessiree.



14. Unless I'm at a Day Spa, manicures and pedicures feel more like a chore than pampering to me. Ugghh!


15. Car accidents and rodents frighten me beyond human comprehension.



16. I've found that when most people say that I favor a celebrity, it's less about facial similarities and more about my hairstyle that particular day.






15. This Bug has never been arrested charged for a crime in her life. Knock wood.



18. In 2001, I stopped reading palms because I felt like I was interfering with the natural order of certain things.



19. Whenever I see something painful, my chocolate starfish hurts for just a millisecond. Wait, was that TMI?




20. I firmly believe there is a Muppet equivalent for every person out there.


And now, in keeping with said tagging inspiration, I nominate the Sweetest Tea from over at the Lion's Share. She may or may not comply...

7 comments:

Katness said...

Damn, girl. You got me beat on No. 5. I was 14. It was Black Label Rum. I have you beat on the alcohol poisoning, though!

When you come visit, will you read my palm? Or maybe I should e-mail a pic. Lord knows I need some guidance right now...

Jayne Neverow said...

K, I'll make an exception for you when we link. Only you can pull me out of fortune teller retirement.

Alcohol poisoning, huh? All things in moderation.

Katness said...

Yeah. I kinda learned that the hard way.

Anonymous said...

i'm on it

Theodore said...

I lOve the one about the muppet because its so true...and number 15 i could relate too and hope it never happens..love you!

Anonymous said...

#1~ Most definitely. I might have to copy, paste, then flip it. Thanks. #2~ That will change from now, Cheek bones. 5~ Are you Caucasian? #6~ Peep "my 4 cornered room" or something like that by WAR. #7~ If you squeezed his crotch after that & said, "Too tiny, Toby", then yes you did. #8~ For real. You're the phenom-bomb Jayne. #9~ LMAO! 12~ What's money? #19~ U already know...hehehe. #20~ Like, it's my life, okay? =-)

Keep 'em coming, Neverow. 1Luv.

Eve said...

LMAO-as always, diggin your vibe Child!