Brought to you by the Letter B...for bored.

Okay, lately I've been trying (mostly in vain) to look busy at work. I even took to Googling ways to look busy at work- since brazenly hunting for my dream job online and uploading my resume may not be the best of looks. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure it's frowned upon at any workplace. Anyway, in my quest to fool the overseers while browsing the internet- I learned a few things. Some relevant. Some not so. So all my Nine to Fivers...pay attention. You might learn a thing or three.



Strategically spread out paperwork on your desk will hide the truth that you finished that project hours ago. Make sure it looks somewhat organized. This way, if you're really bored and actually feel like working, you won't look so inundated that they don't pile on more to your faux workload. The key factor: Never ever have a clear desk. Like, ever.




I don't know if anyone else cares- but the fact that Oscar the Grouch was orange from 1969-1970 was a delicious piece of trivia to this Sesame Street aficionado. Who knew?




http://www.someecards.com/ has become an old-new guilty pleasure. How can I get a job there?



Contrary to my previous FB updates, Bagel Day at the job is not so bad. It takes care of my grumbly Morning tummy once a week and is a wonderful way to kill time once you factor in how long I take to make a cup of hot chocolate. Sidebar: Two packets of Swiss Miss will yield gloriously creamy results without adding dairy. No more watery Cocoa for This Bug!



More Sesame Street trivia on deck. Cookie Monster's "cookies" were actually rice cakes that were painted beige with brown dots to mimic chocolate chips. They began this method through trial and error when they realized real cookies soiled Muppet fur beyond repair. That's before they went all PC and started making him eat veggies. C'mon Son! That's why he was the wild ass Cookie Monster. Nobody goes that crazy for cauliflower.



Drink lots of water at work. The health benefits are a given and if the cooler is a decent distance away, it burns up some time. Plus, you''ll have to go to the restroom often which is a perfectly acceptable way to waste company time. You're human. Make sure to have some work related material in your hands when you take this little Agua trek. It gets you out of unwanted conversation by saying you really have to get back to (insert false project here). Still looking busy. Everybody wins.


Last one, I swear. Bert's vertical stripes were utilized to imply an uptight disposition. In contrast, Ernie's stripes are horizontal to make him appear more relaxed and easygoing. Brilliant! How cool is that? Okay, maybe it's not so cool...but at least I learned something new. It was so hard to tear myself away from that website. Seriously.



Screensavers are a dead giveway of how long you've been AWOL. Disable that shit. Stat.




Each time a co-worker approaches me with an issue and starts their sentence with "Here's the situation..." I fight the urge to break into Heavy D's verse. "Idio[di]cy. Nonsense violence. Not a good policy." I have Hip-Hop Tourettes. It's true. Sidebar: After eons of knowing the song, I never noticed until the moment I was typing this blurb that Idiodicy is not a freakin' word.
I guess we got to keep ourselves in check...or else it's...

That's it for now. Come back later.