Topping my list of ugly hot Hollywood guys is none other than Marc Anthony. I don't know what it is about him. After seeing his performance in El Cantante, I've had the biggest crush on him. I am baffled by my newfound attraction to this guy. I mean, look at him.
He's gangly and awkward and his face sort of reminds me of the Geico Caveman minus all the facial hair. But then you start thinking, "This dude bagged J-Lo, man. He must have something about him!"
Well, whatever that little magic trick may be- I wouldn't mind being his assistant when that rabbit emerges out of the hat. I'm just sayin'. I don't really want to look at him. He can just stand really close beside me and sing Todo Tiene Su Final into my hair. Kinda like 0:44 in this vid...Yeah, that'll work. Fuego!Next up is Adrien Brody. Hmmm...where do I begin?
Huge nose, sad eyes, crooked smile. All of those wonderful things give his odd face character. Also, he wears his clothes well. This Bug has always been a sucker for a man who looks good in his clothes. Because let's face it- if I don't like how you look in your clothes, I'm not going to wonder what you look like out of them. Though, in Adrien Brody's case I would rather not picture that lanky frame unadorned. There's also the passion factor with him.
What woman doesn't want a man to swoop down and plant a kiss like that on her? You can watch the famous smooch here. And just like that, a sex symbol was born. I'm still hatin' on Halle for this one...that bitch. Show me a woman who doesn't want a man to kiss her like that at least once in life, and I'll show you a raging, muff-loving lesbian.
Rounding out the list is my current favorite British thespian, Clive Owen. He makes me weak.
That craggy face. The wooden stare. His intensity is unmatched. He's like the second coming to Richard Burton- only hotter.
Way hotter. He is the cad Mum warned you about. His accent is pure class, and it doesn't matter if he's saying something cheeky or completely vulgar. Case and point, the strip club scene in Closer. I always refer to him as my future ex-husband, because it will never work between us, but on the road to ruin- I'm going to have a bloody good go at it with this shaggadocius bloke. In the words of Mos Def: Y.E.A., Yeah. You could get it. Honorable Mentions:
Vincent Gallo What can I say? He's stylish. He looks weird and he loves Hip-Hop. And he could give two shits what the critics had to say about Brown Bunny.
Mickey Rourke Let me clarify. Mickey Rourke circa 1986. He was at his sexiest in 9 and 1/2 Weeks before Botox and Boxing completely destroyed that curiously rugged, unshaven face.
Chiwetel Ejiofor
More ugly hotness from across the pond. Sure, he's no Idris Elba- but there's something about him that is alluring. He does a great American accent too, which shows some versatility. And that scar in the middle of his forehead just does it for me. Is that weird?
1 comment:
Ieronimo??? Is that you?
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