Superheroes, Eskimos and Hookers, Oh My !

"Happy Hoe-La-Ween!"

So some of you may remember how badly I wanted to dress up for Halloween last year. It had been quite some time since I put a costume together and just went all out for the festivities. Well, I finally got my chance to dress up as Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's but that's not entirely what this post is about. I want to talk about the spooky, scary things I witnessed this past Halloween night. I know that holiday in particular gives people a chance to release their inner child freak, but I had no idea how much freak-a-leek most people have pent up just dying to bust out. Damn!

Not too long ago, my girl in the blogosphere, Happy Hour Sue lamented that the only costumes left for her tween daughter were slutty little get-ups that she found inappropriate for her child. Check it out here. Well it seems that most of those costumes were snatched up by the ladies (and I use that term ever so loosely) who attended the Masquerade Party I went to on Saturday. Lord have mercy. When my good friend mentioned that females jump at the chance to let out their dormant whore, I balked until I witnessed it with my own eyes.

Okay, let's start with the more tame outfits floating around that night. Disclaimer: Before anyone gets all up in arms over my posting the photos, let the record show that these women willingly posed for these pics- knowing full and well that they would later be posted on a social website for local parties. The eyes aren't blocked over there, by the way. I looked out...big time.

"BOO!! tylicious"

From left to right we have what I believe (the jury's still out) is supposed to be a Super Hero, a German Beerfest Girl, a Can-Can Girl and an Eskimo. Honestly, the only one I'm really sure about is the Eskimo. She was the most reserved one compared to Bumble Bee Super Chick who felt the need to bend over every 2.5 seconds for the photographer. I just sat there wondering....does she know any other poses? Yikes. Beerfest Girl seemed to turn the other cheek more than a few times as well. But maybe if This Bug had a whole heap 'o ass, I might throw it all up in the camera, too. Riiiight....

Let's move on to the lowdown dirty shames. A prize to those of you who can guess what these females were dressed as. And... Go! It's okay. I'll wait.

"Trick or Treat?"

Alrighty then... A big bag of candy corn to those who figured homegirl in the middle was a Leprechaun. At least, I think she was. She stood about 5'10 and was built like a brick shithouse. She may be sittin' on a big ole pot of gold, yahnahmean? Or perhaps she's Robyn Hood. She looked kinda 'hood to me. My third guess was that she was from the valley of the Jolly Green Giants. (Insert Ho, Ho, Ho jingle here) The other three just slapped on some Frederick's of Hollywood, hats and a mask and were good to go. No mystery there. No creativity and absolutely zero left to the imagination. But fun was had by all and I suppose that's all that really matters.

"My thigh. No lie."

To be fair, I have to say that I didn't just let my inner prude shine this Halloween. If you know the back story on Holly Golightly, she was a small town country hick who reinvented herself as a New York high society girl. She made her living coaxing dollars, jewels, et al out of rich, older gentlemen. In my book, you can't be a gold digger and not be coming up off a little somethin' somethin' by way of the goodies. But she made it look classy. Tasteful. Something the aforementioned ghouls girls forgot to employ when they put on their glad rags that night. I had a naughty side, myself...complete with (hidden) thigh highs and a suggestively clenched cigarette holder between my teeth all night long. Anyway, I'm not judging. This Bug knows all too well you can't judge a book by it's cover or in this case, lack there of. For all we know- those were good little church girls who run the bake sale at the end of every month. I'm just saying that there is an art to being sexy... and using all the subtlety of a jackhammer isn't necessary. I guess the freaks really do come out at night.

The End