“Lying is done with words and also with silence.”
The saying, "It takes one to know one" runs deep. I say this because it supersedes the "Real recognize real" statement all day long. Today, I'm going to share something very personal in the blogosphere. My disclaimer before sharing goes something like this: Although it is through my own admittance, I would like everyone to know that this fact should not discredit me and has no bearing on how I relay my stories now. Now, everybody ready? Great.
I have a talent for bending the truth to suit my needs. Please understand that this has only been the case when it was absolutely necessary. Case & point: Picture it. JFK Airport. 1996. My friend bought me a plane ticket to Miami for Christmas. I was all set to go, only I had no real identification to legally board the plane. So, I did what anyone would do in that situation and had a generic photo I.D. made up at a local Army Navy store. What's the worst that could happen, right? Two weeks later at the airport, I tried my luck with the makeshift I.D. and was told I needed state issued I.D. instead. Yours truly proceeded to raise hell. I went on and on about how I called the airline ahead of time when I lost my wallet- and they told me it would be sufficient- and now they were going back on their word. I was equal parts outraged and exasperated...and it worked like a charm. Three hours later, I was sipping drinks at a South Beach hotel.
I tell this story to give some insight on the examination of lies. It comes easy for some. I first learned the difference between a good lie (if there is such a thing) and a bad one when I was thirteen. I listened to my father tell my mother on her deathbed that they were going to the beach tomorrow, like they used to as soon as she got better. Only thing was, the doctors had already told us she probably wouldn't last the week. And a part of me knows that if by some miracle her condition had improved that night- he would have made good on that promise. It filled me with hope and broke my heart all at the same time.
I know enough about lies to know when I'm hearing one. If I am unaffected by it, I usually say nothing to reveal my knowing. But every now and then- when a lie mingles with the truth, I can't help but feel violated. My intelligence feels insulted. My ears burn with the continuance of it. I literally feel like imploding. People sound different when they lie. Their tone changes in hopes to increase believability. I can spot it from a mile off. It's been argued that a lie of omission is just as bad as a lie of commission. To neglect to offer the truth can somewhat be on the same scale as concealing it. I'm still on the fence with that one. Lies are not told only by morally bankrupt individuals. Everyone has their own purpose for not always employing "the best policy" and it's unfair to judge without knowing the back story. The acumen for truth is such a flexible thing.Bottom line: The truth hurts, but lies kill. It kills trust. It kills the truth. It kills good things before they even have a chance to be born. This Bug knows that firsthand.
4 comments:
Once again, great piece. I shoulda read this a day sooner but everything in it's time, right? You seem to be a great analyzer & can peep the tiny tidbits of trickery before they fully flourish. A priceless thing to have in this world of snakes & serpents. Teach the rest of us, pleeeeeaaz. lol
And your adaptation & acting skills deserves a standing ovation. Not many can play a role so ill. You very well might have another calling, Ms. Jayne.
Let me know when your off the fence with the whole, "neglecting to offer the truth is on the same scale as concealing it", thing. I'm a lil' undecided myself.
Well, maybe I'm not.
What I am sure about is that what your pops said was no where near a lie. ANYthing could of happened regardless of what anyone else said. Even though I see it has been a while, my condolences to you & yours still.
B4 I step, let me say that...~ some people just can't handle the truth,~ cheaters never win,~ good guys finish last,~ the truth will set you free,~ ignorance is bliss,~
things in the dark come to light,~
what you don't know won't hurt you,~ "Boy, if you ever even THINK about telling white people the truth I'ma smack you silly!" lol,~....and probably a hundred other sayings that speak on one side of the fence or the other; & the war wages on.
Guidance, soldier. May your sword stay sharp & your aim precise so that your intended target, & no one other than, sheds blood. May your 5 senses always play 2nd to that internal 1 that sees,feels,tastes,hears,& smells things before it ever manifests itself physically so as to not have to always feel, as well as give, the pain of the firsthand experience.
Later, Nevarow.
One Love.
I'm also undecided. I can think of some cases in my own life when honesty wasn't the best policy. I do believe that when ppl lie they know exactly what they are doing. Most times lies are used to spare feelings that end up hurt when the truth if finally revealed. A lie is somewhat of a sedative.
Selfish or selfless. I think those are the categories lies should be put into.
Selfish: "No there's not a run in your stockings"
knowing that shit looks like its tryna get away from wil e coyote
Selfless: "Don't worry about it I'll pay the ticket you got on my car that day I let you drive it."
knowing you so broke you can't even pay attention, but your homegirl is worse off.
See what I mean?
@ Sweetest- Wow. I never thought of it in those terms before. Selfish vs. Selfless but it is so very true. I think a selfish lie for one's own protection has it's place, but is more hurtful to those it may affect. The selfless lie can be hurtful as well- but as they say: The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Either way, I have been the teller and tellee if you will, on both counts. A fact I am not proud of- but it remains a fact all the same. We have all been victims to truth evasion or outright lies- and on some scale, we all may have inflicted it on others. No one is immune. By the way- thanks for paying that ticket, Sweetie. You're the best! LOL.
@ Soups- Thank you for the insight. While it may be priceless to be able to spot the serpents and snakes early on, it does nothing to dull the venomous sting that is felt when they do what comes so naturally to them. My talents for survival (as I have called it in the past)have been honed through finding myself in very detrimental situations. It's one of the reasons why I know that the police will believe you until you give them reason not to. They are not equipped with built-in lie detectors as they would like the general public to believe.
But trust me when I tell you- I have no other calling other than the one some very special people have urged me to pursue. So while an Oscar may be well deserved for past performances, This Bug is not moved nor motivated by trickery. A very good friend once told me that just because a person has done something- that does not make them all that they are. I'd like to think that it goes for bending, concealing or evading the truth as well. Does it mean that they lied? Yes. Does that make them a Liar above all else? I don't think so. Truthfully speaking (no pun intended) I don't believe anyone lies to harm others directly, but the Truth is a casualty in some less-than-moral situations. All of it subject to opinion.
At the end of the day, one should be able to look themselves in the mirror and be okay with what is looking back at them- and I would imagine that it's difficult to do if lies have smeared that image to see too clearly. Lying to oneself or others close to them impedes any amount of growth- be it personal or otherwise. The truth may lurk, yes- but anything other than that will haunt each corner until the truth decides to step out of the shadows.
Until then, my sword will remain sharp. Don't get me wrong, I'm no caped Crusader of Truth- but my firsthand experiences have taught me to do all that I can to protect myself from the strife that comes along with infractions of truth.
Ladybugs are cool.
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