Waiting in line at CVS is always a treat, but what you may not know is that the front counter is a strategic and airtight operation, involving key players and military precision.
"Cast of Characters"
Cashier 1 - She came with the building and will take no shit from anyone this morning, thank you very much, now do you have your club card ?
Cashier 2 - Cell texting dynamo whose entire collection of gold plated accessories must be worn at all times. You can't work a register when a baller's calling, so she ain't helping you.
Cashier 3 - Pacer. She walks back and forth behind the counter, moving one item at a time from top shelf to bottom shelf and then back again because the best thing to do when a line is aisle-deep is look busy enough not to have to open a second register.
Cashier 4 - Where the f**k did she go, she was JUST here!
Cashier 5 - C'mon now - you think they actually have a Cashier 5?
Stock Guy - Sitting on box of Garnier Fructis samples, blissfully contemplating a change in career...ok that part is bullshit. Asshole is sitting on my leave in conditioner.
Manager - In the back with cashier 5.
Asst. Manager - Up front, trying to distract Donny the Bum from getting another free pack of matches.
Donny the Bum - Gets free matches here.
Photo Guy - He's there. He's just standing there. He knows you want him to say 'cash only' and invite you up. Nope. He's photo guy. Don't mess.
Pharmacy Cashier - She doesn't speak English. She has your pills. Do the math.
Pharmacist - Uptight jerk in a glorified lab coat who delights in the following statements:
"When we said it'd be ready by 4:30, we meant we'd check if we had it by 4:30."
"You have to call your doctor and then have him call us and then we'll call him back to get the approval."
"No you can't get your prescription back, it's already been processed."
"Go to another CVS, but you have to call your doctor for another prescription."
"We don't have penicillin."
Did I miss anyone?
2 comments:
yeah you missed the lady in line who's having the very real fictional "coniption" in true aggravated black woman fashion. She's pissed cuz she gotta get home to season her meat and cashier 5 went to the "back" to look for the only scent of that glade plug in refill that she likes and never returned. She don't even know who to ask for cuz cashier 5 is the only one who doesn't wear a name tag.
I know your rant is over 3 years old but it came up on my google search.
First of all, you're lucky if you have 2 cashiers besides the manager working. CVS has cut stores hours SO much that cashiers are now doing the work of managers and vise versa.
There is either a shift manager or a store manager working (NOT both), the 'stock guy' is cashier 1 or 2, the 'photo guy' is also cashier 1 or 2, and there is NO assistant manager.
And your interpretation of the 'pharmacy cashier' is incredibly racist and small minded.
Shame on you.
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