Stone that the builder refuse...

...will always be the head cornerstone.

I've been thinking a lot about womanizing lately. What it is. The people who do it. Why. What the consequences are. The aftermaths. I took to researching history's most famous womanizers and my findings were interesting. There was a top 5 list that consisted of multli-millionaire businessman Howard Hughes, President JFK, magazine mogul Hugh Hefner, near mythical Venetian legend Giacomo Casanova and former basketball player Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain. All of them hail from very different walks of life. But they had one thing in common. They were moneyed and powerful. Surprise, surprise. What struck me about this particular list was who was missing. Whoever compiled it totally overlooked, to me, one of the most famous lovers of women to date: Robert Nesta Marley.


If you know anything about this man, you know that his capacity to spread love was as great as his ability to create life changing music. But I'm not here to talk about his music today. Bob Marley had a lot of women in his time. Many women. From those women came many children. Suffice to say the stork was not as busy as his stalk. With all of my research on Romeos, Casanovas and Lotharios- I cannot help but put Bob in a class by himself. His affairs, whether they were fleeting or long lasting, were not frivolous and all seem to have a common ingredient. The soul of the man. I won't go as far as saying he wrote the book on the art of seduction, but he knew how to get down to business. And they obviously all found him irresistible and lovable to no end.

No Woman, No Cry

Words cannot express how strong I believe this woman to be. What appeared to be unconditional love and blind faith back then can easily pass for playing the fool for a man today. But clearly, he wasn't just any man. He was Bob. Of his extramarital affairs; Rita Marley had this to say, "Just because he did those things and cheated on me doesn’t mean he was a bad husband. He always provided for me, always gave me anything I wanted. But he was corrupted by show business, by the girls that would throw themselves at him. This is what I’ve come to understand."
Seriously, I can't begin to fathom the pain she must have endured knowing that the man she loved would bed other women at any given time away from her. It is in a woman's makeup to want to be the only one. Really and truly, man or woman, does anyone want to feel second best? Factor in third or forth and things get really unbearable. We all would like to think we're number one in someone's book. But love sustains. I think that's the reason she still works so tirelessly to continue his legacy. It's been speculated that their relationship grew to be more like mother and son later on. She kept a watchful but caring eye over him and objectively cautioned him against getting caught up with the wrong ones. The woman gets ridiculous props for that alone. It can't be easy to love a man whose magnetism goes way beyond the women he attracts.

The Beauty Queen

Late in his too short life, Bob had a relationship with Cindy Breakspeare. She was crowned Miss World in 1976 and met Bob the same year in London. It's been said that of his many indiscretions, Rita held plenty of animosity towards her in particular- even refusing to sing back up with the I-Threes on Turn Your Lights Down Low, because it was common knowledge the song was inspired by and written for Ms. Breakspeare. From that relationship, Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley was born. Now, one may say that Bob had no business cavorting with other women while he was married, but no one can deny that some beautiful lives were brought forth as a result. Sharon. Cedella. David, better known as Ziggy. Stephen. Robert. Julian. Rohan. Karen. Ky-Mani. Damian. Makeda. They all carry his namesake. His estate claims eleven in total, including Rita's daughter from a previous relationship who Bob adopted as his own. That's not even counting others that are not, or may choose not be be recognized as his biological children. But there were many women and many affairs, notwithstanding that some went undocumented or bore no children.







When I first began writing this, I was exploring the concept of a man who can make a woman feel like she's the only one in the world- even if deep down she knows better. I wrote this to get a better understanding of what it means to love a man like this. By this I mean the type of man who is desired by many and gives himself willingly. Freely. And by this I mean this depth of love. The kind that lends itself to staying even when you can see the forest for the trees. But perhaps that's what it's all about. Seeing a person for who they are entirely and not strictly for their deeds. By the end of his life, no one close to him turned their back because of his "womanizing" ways. They were all there until the end. Loving him. All facets of him, because apparently there were many- but they were all wholly him. About the lack of clarity regarding Bob's affairs, author Timothy White offered, "No one who was connected with Bob, no matter how intimately, had a complete picture of the man. The network of restrictive confidences that Marley developed over the years was extensive, encompassing business arrangements, extramarital affairs, daily comings and goings, and songwriting collaborations." I realize now that Bob Marley doesn't belong on that list I stumbled upon at all. What those previously mentioned men contributed to the world pales in comparison to the lives that Bob touched and helped to create. I guess everything and everyone has their place in this universe. It's not up to us to judge or question it. Our obligation is to respect life; those who love purely and live it to the fullest. Bob didn't just love women. He loved people. He loved life. Gilly Gilbert, Bob's Ital cook said, "Whatever Bob do, Bob do more right than wrong." And I believe him.

"But who Jah bless, no man curse."

Author's Note: Post originally titled Love, Life & Guava Jelly. Written over two days of research and real life ponderance.

Photo Courtesy: Urban Image