I'm No Expert

Based on a conversation I had with a dear friend earlier this week, I'm fulfilling a request to write about a topic I know too much a little something about. The Co-Dependent Relationship. I have no degree. I have no credentials. Only experience and self observation. To tell the truth, I'm not even sure I have technically been in one of these so-called relationships. All I know is how to identify an unhealthy pattern of behavior. Well, at least from the looks of it- it seems unhealthy. Like I said... I'm not Dr. Bug, PhD.

Let's start with the Denial aspect of a Co-Dep. They tend to minimize or deny what they truly feel. That in itself is a no-no. Especially when it comes out later in passive/aggressive actions. They also tend to perceive themselves as totally unselfish and dedicated to others. Too giving. This way when they've been taken advantage of- the Pity Party can last God knows how long. It's a sad reality. Then there's the Self Esteem factor. They have difficulty making decisions, see themselves as unlovable and value others' approval or thinking above their own. This type of person will compromise what they truly want to avoid rejection or anger from others. They tend to be extremely loyal, which results in staying in situations that may be harmful to them. What is most interesting to me about a Co-Dep is the Control aspect. They tend to resent others if their help is not wanted. They have a need to be "needed". The attachment is apparent to everyone around them while they remain oblivious. These individuals tend to isolate themselves from everyone except the object of their affection.

I'm not saying I know the key to a "healthy" relationship. Shit, I can barely tell you the last time I was in one. But if any of the above factors sound familiar- you have witnessed or been a part of a Co-Dependent relationship or friendship; and I should hope some examination takes place so as not to repeat the trappings of such an imbalanced alliance.

That's my two copper coins on this matter. But seriously, I'm no expert.


And now... A word from our Co-Dep Sponsors. Enjoy!