Two Can't Play That Game

I'm quick to tell anyone who will listen how much of a competitive person I am not. It never bothered me when my side lost a volleyball game in gym class. I never huffed and puffed when I lost a Chess match, Spades game or any other competition. Mostly because I know that whatever I took on, I gave it my best effort. If it was not meant for me to win- so be it. Better luck next time, Champ. It does not mean that I'm not a winner of my own account by any means. That being said, I wish to delve into another realm in which I absolutely refuse to compete.

This Bug will not battle with other women for one man's affection. I find it futile mainly because if a man wants to be with you- he will. I see no reason to jump through hoops, give ultimatums or convince someone why I would be the better choice. If you're not at the forefront of his mind- chances are he's just not that into you. I have to shake my head when I hear songs like Mary's I Can Love You Better or worse yet, Mokenstef's He's Mine . Really? "You may have had him once but I got him all the time." That's what it's come to? Damn, are pickings that slim? I should hope not. To me, there are so many men out there, that to focus on one who has no idea which side of the fence he'd rather be on is not worth the stress. Somewhere out there is a person that knows exactly where they want to be. No strings attached. No cake and eating it too. As a matter of fact, that type of behavior takes the cake and comes back for the plate. To paraphrase Gordon Gekko, greed is not always good.

I don't want to come across as self righteous, either. This Bug is not ashamed to say that I have been the other woman in a previous life. I wore that hat. It's not cute. It wasn't until I realized my self worth that I put a cap on vying for a taken man's love and affection. Suddenly, 'playing my position' was not an option unless the position was the star player. Waiting around for a man to decide that he wanted to be with me and only me seemed degrading. I'm an all or nothing type of girl. I know what I deserve. Anything less than that is unacceptable. When someone really wants to be with you- they will clear a path to make that possible. And once that path has been cleared, they will not jeopardize it with outsiders of any denomination.

To the ladies I say this: If he wants you- he'll do what he has to in order to make that possible. You are the prize. If he cares, he will not allow you to feel insecure about other women floating somewhere in the background. Don't wait around for him to decide how spectacular you are. Know it already and treat yourself as such. It is more than okay to parry a guy's advances if his movements are not genuine. And please, keep it grown and ladylike with other femmes. While it may be true that some things are worth fighting for- scratching and hair pulling should be a very last resort. That will only make you look silly and you're likely to break a nail. It should never be a competition. Even if it means totally removing yourself from the equation. Be mindful that if you step aside and he does nothing, it simply wasn't meant for you. Don't play games.

To the fellas I say this: Be honest...with yourself first and then with others. While the juggling act may work for a while- sooner or later, everything can hit the floor if you're not careful. Leaving you empty-handed (and dry-Willied, at least for a while). Whatever you do to get the girl is what you'll have to do to keep the girl. Let your actions speak for themselves. If you're not willing to give a girl what she deserves, don't waste her time. It's not fair to her, and you stand to rack up demerits in the karma department. Don't play games.


Anyway, this one's for guys and gals...There is still hope for those who play their cards right. Wait, did I say cards? That implies games. Scratch that. Just watch and listen, People. You too can feel this way.



Just do the right thing. At the risk of sounding redundant, I implore you all not to play games. Unless of course, it's Naked Twister with that special someone who knows exactly where they want to be. Right hand blue, left foot rrrred... and just like that; everybody wins.